“I Don’t Know How to Write About It”
February 24, 2022:
Russia continues its war in Ukraine. Now, it’s a full-scale invasion affecting every Ukrainian and leaving them with imprints they can’t erase: the hard-to-describe experience of those initial days after 24.02.
Today, we are still standing. We keep on fighting, and we choose not to be silent. We are writing down the history we are witnessing to remember it, tell the world about it, and preserve it for our descendants.
February 2024:
On the second anniversary of russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the publishing house Knygolove presented a remarkable book:
I Don’t Know How to Write About It
This book is a selection of essays and short stories about the war, told and written by civilian Ukrainian women.
Thirty-two authors. Thirty-two different voices.
Each narrative shares a unique experience in the extraordinary circumstances we all found ourselves in early 2022.
These are the stories of living through the russian-Ukrainian war. Creatively reinterpreted and embodied in essays and short stories, they sound diverse but communicate our shared experience. These are voices whispering:
- “What was my day on 24.02.2022.”
- “Why I left the country, or why I stayed.”
- “How I was torn with pain, even though I have been living abroad for a long time already.”
- “How I adapted to the war while staying in Ukraine.”
- “The people I met on my way and the stories I heard about other women, men, children, and animals.”
- “How my whole world fell apart and how I rebuilt it.”
- “How I experienced the deaths of my dearest people, and how I was looking for a way to be useful.”
- “How I hate and burn with rage.”
- “How much I love.”
- “What makes me cry and what makes me laugh as I go through my path in this war.”
The idea of gathering these stories and publishing them in a book belongs to Irena Karpa, a Ukrainian writer, movie screenwriter, journalist, and activist. Based in Paris, Karpa often appears in French media advocating for Ukraine, writes columns for big dogs like Vanity Fair and Vogue, regularly publishes new books later translated into English and French, and curates writing retreats.
She is also the author of Therapeutic Writing in the Time of War and My Story, practical courses for aspiring writers that became the basis for the book you can see here.
How “I Don’t Know How to Write About It” Was Born
Summer 2022. After consulting with psychologist Larysa Voloshyna, Irena Karpa launched Therapeutic Writing. It was an online course where she helped students talk through the pain they felt and release their emotions through writing.
As a course student, I sincerely shared my experiences and emotions there. All stories were in Ukrainian, but I was daring enough to translate a couple of them into English and post them here:
These classes proved to be efficient and valuable, so Irena continued to work in the field of creative therapeutic writing. She launched My Story, a course where she encouraged students to work on their wartime experiences but now like professional writers.
During the course, we wrote essays based on our stories or the stories of our loved ones, thus crafting literary works about real-life events.
And that’s when it hit Irena:
Why not publish a book of those texts written by “ordinary heroines living in extraordinary circumstances”?
That’s how the book of short stories and essays — I Don’t Know How to Write About It — was born.
“Talking, telling, and communicating with like-minded people is what helps us keep going in the most difficult times. These stories are just that.” — Irena Karpa
Irena explains that therapeutic writing can relieve us by laughing, talking, recording emotions and events, venting anger and hatred (or love and gratitude), and keeping the memory of those worth remembering.
In the book’s last pages, Irena Karpa invites readers to try writing down their own stories or thoughts. “Because who, if not you, is the protagonist of your life?” she says.
Zhanna Kapshuk, the book’s editor, adds:
“This book is like a conversation that has its storyline. It moves from thoughts about home — through feelings of confusion and uncertainty — through hard decisions and the search for resilience — through losses, pain, and challenges — through finding light in the darkness — through tears behind smiles or the healing power of humor — to finding ways to a true, genuine self and one’s recovery.”
I Don’t Know How to Write About It includes stories by authors participating in Karpa’s My Story course:
Anastasiia Narolska, Anna Siedykh, Anna Sofina, Daryna Ziernii, Hanna Pidlisna, Iryna Shmyhelska, Kateryna Kompanenko, Kateryna Naumenko, Karina Armlos, Kseniia Lukianenko, Khrystyna Zhyvohliad, Nadiia Baldo, Nataliia Krainiuk, Natalka Remez, Nila Revchuk, Oksana Kravets, Olha Dmytrenko, Oksana Tunikova, Polina Biliaieva, Polina Voronova, Viktoriia Herasymchuk, Viktoriia Klymok, Yara Mudra (Yaroslava Matvieienko).
And also:
Anna Goldin
“My story’s name is ‘Hold Me;’ it’s an imprint of branching roads in the consciousness when old pillars of support are lost, and new ones aren’t found yet. It’s about the betrayal by those whom you’d trusted the most; the betrayal by the church (russian Orthodox Church) that turned out to be an ambassador of the kremlin’s propaganda.”
Daria Solodovnyk
“My story is about a family separation due to forced evacuation. It’s about the inner conflict of a woman who wants to ensure the safety of her children while also suffering from an involuntary breakup with her husband. She understands men’s duty to defend the country or maintain the state’s economy, but, at the same time, she wants to live her only life in a happy family. Driven by emotions, she decides to visit her husband in Ukraine and implement her somewhat sneaky plan to leave the country together legally.”
Halyna Chepurko
“My story is about the ‘friendship’ between a Ukrainian and a russian, where the Ukrainian doesn’t notice any red flags in those relations. But when the russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine begins, it becomes impossible to ignore them.”
Kseniia Yatsenko
“My ‘Witnesses of a New Era’ is a dedication to women. I collected the experience from their stories and embodied it in two main heroines. Both have some characteristics of myself: One is a strong me, and the other is a weak me. And I replaced all the names in my story with fictional ones. Except for one. My brother’s. Our defender’s.”
Maryna Lazovik
“Life doesn’t pause at the times of war. People adapt to even the most terrible circumstances; they don’t only grieve but love, give birth, and laugh. I want people experiencing hard times to read something they could relate to, something funny and relaxing. It’s the purpose of my story: to evoke a smile that will give hope.”
Maria Karapata
“At the beginning of russia’s full-scale invasion, young lady Sofia wanders abroad and stays at Christian’s home in Romania. He’s a Chilean, and they’ve been friends for many years as they used to dance together in Kyiv. Romantic vibes appear between these two, but Sofia wants to return to her home city, Kyiv, despite the ongoing war there. The solution comes all of a sudden for both Sofia and Christian.”
Olha Saulenko
“My story is about one day, and it’s the day of 24.02. The day that has changed millions of lives forever.”
Olesia Filipenko (yours truly)
“My ‘Elephant’ is about the russification many Ukrainians from the Donbas region faced because of our enemy’s policy and propaganda. It’s about wrong choices, blindness, and ignorance of russia’s real face; it’s about silence and weakness… that transformed into rethinking own identity and returning to the genuine self.”
Oksana Levchuk
“My life today and my story are about exploring what we can hold on to in the face of death, whether literal or metaphorical (e.g., the death of relationships or hope). It may look like a small thing, but our resilience and the strength to continue living are built from such small things and pillars. It can be love for your dearest ones, your kitty, or your work. Or, memories of spring in your hometown. Or, the ability to notice the survived among the wreckage of dreams, walls, and life. That’s what’s important.”
Viktoriia Stepanenko
“My story is about the fact that the war started back in 2014. It’s about no one becoming a hero by birth but by deeds. It’s a story about ordinary men without military professions who voluntarily go to defend Ukraine and get the necessary skills at the frontline, not at educational institutions. It’s about how their families accept this choice. And how their loved ones experience the trauma of loss.”
What’s Next?
Our book travels the world, finding readers in Ukraine and far beyond its borders. We’ve already had presentations in Kyiv and Lviv and participated in the book fair in Sweden. More to come in Kropyvnytskyi (Ukraine), the UK, France, and Canada.
Ukrainian soldiers read our stories in the trenches, and volunteers sell the book at auctions to support medic battalions and get more humanitarian aid for civilians. As authors, we share our writing experiences at book festivals, in cozy bookstores, and on our media channels.
You are welcome to invite this book to your city! Or, you can gift it to someone close to you. Or, feel free to buy it for yourself in bookstores or online and thus support Ukrainian publishing and all the Ukrainians who clench their teeth and keep moving forward to fight, speak, and tell the truth to everyone ready to hear it.
P.S.
Looking closer at the book cover, you may notice one crossed-out word in the title. This word is “don’t.”
Because now we know how to write about it.
Do you?
